On supposed to be my happy day..a day to celebrate and a day to talk sweet nothing...I feel absolutely depressed and down. I feel the happiness slowly creeping out from my system. Why would I feel down in such a short period of happiness?

1. The SPM result is out and I have to start preparing my report on English Language performance. What would I say as Ketua Panitia? And what would I say as a Teacher? The result increased by 3.4 % but it is expected to be higher. Could I say the students failed to realize the importance of this subject? Could I say their academic background is not strong enough that if they didn't really work hard they'll fail to score?A big NO NO...as a teacher we have to be responsible towards the performance of our students (I didn't say this but I was made to say this because it's expected).

2. I was nominated to go to DLIEC, Texas for a 4 months course but was pulled out from the list immediately because of one reason, there'll be a shortage of English teacher here. After 2 years of not going anywhere or to any course...I am so unhappy with this decision. This unit is admittedly is the busiest and hectic place ever. You'll always be on your toe. When I'm nominated to go for a long course..it's like a godsent..then I could 'escape' for a while and armoured myself with more knowledge to share with the students. I'm livid and I'm depressed. There are so many things in my chest threatening to explode and I better stop before I write something I'm not suppose to.