Apr 30, 2013

Adam Muqriz is officially 6.

I should publish this entry on 9 April but by the time I finished tidied up the kitchen, it was already late. Adik was restless for wanting another session of bf though he fed not too long before that...sigh. I am seriously a lot busier than ever now.
Okay, here goes, since he will be going to primary next year (huhuhu, dah big boy dah my son), he so wishes to celebrate his birthday at his kindy with his friends. So, I have to plan for cake, goodies bag, food and drink for about 61 kids. His classmates are only 16 but during break, they will be out at the play area together jadi we thought pity la to those kids yg not his classmates tengok aje kan. You know how kids are with birthday and cake kan. I am quite strict with junkies so there is no junk food in the bag. We decided to give something which can be used so we bought stationary set for everyone. Adam's classmates got additional note book and jelly. Everyone got two balloons each. Then come the drama for cake pula. He insisted for a Boboi Boy cake. So I went to Secret Recipe to ask for it but they cannot do it. Nasib baik la I know tokey cake yg I can trust for a delicious and handsome looking cake.
On the B day, I almost ran doing everything and going everywhere. Nak goreng bihun for so many tu is not my forte okay sebab tu kena buat dua kali goreng. Nak packing satu hal kan, then nk transfer all the goodies bags and bihun goreng into the car was no joke.
But, towards the end what matter most to us was Adam huge smile. Tak kira la how tunggang langgang our live that day, I had done my best to fullfil his wish. Alhamdulillah for that.
Then, we had a smaller celebration at home. Tok ( nasib la ada my mom) fried another batch of bihun goreng for us. So, to my dear boy who will always be my baby, Happy Birthday and may Allah SWT protect and bless you with goodness in life and hereafter. Amin.
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Mar 13, 2013

Before and After

Kawan-kawan selalu tanya, macamana bila ada baby after 6 years and Adam pun dah besar? Jawabnya, sengih yg lebar. Well, we waited for Mikhail for about 6 years. Mestilah penantian tu something yg we cherished and of course tak boleh complaint. Penat, tak cukup tidur, tak cukup tenaga, confuse yg tak pernah habis, risau dan macam-macam la perasaan yg ada memanglah ada tapi bila pandang muka comel mikhail tu hilang zassss semua yg di list di atas. Adam dulu banyaknya my mom yg assist sebab we were at Manjung so whenever hubby was not around (sailing berbulan lamanya-tipu la kan.hahaha), I went back to Taiping and drove from Taiping to Lumut everyday. Sanggup kan? Jadi, tak rasa sangat la 'ketakutan'(hahahaha) nak mandi baby sendiri or apa yg tak kena bila baby meragam.
Mikhail pula I yg jaga after confinement. Before that my mom juga la yg bersusah payah. Dah I operate kan, nak batuk pun sakit, cemana nak angkat baby. Bila jaga sendiri ni, kena pandai la 'baca' kerenah baby. Maybe sebab dah agak wiser dari age factor, kuang kuang, jadi lebih teratur dan tenang sket handle anak. But, ada juga masa yg berserabut semua benda tak kena. Especially bila Adam nak siap ke kindy and Mikhail pulak sibuk nak bf. Time tu rasa if I could have extra hand memang ideal la. But to summarize all things, I am more organized and patient in dealing with baby. Alhamdulillah.
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Mar 12, 2013

Ting tong

I guess Mikhail punya perangai though wayyyy lebih sabar dari Adam, lebih kurang sama je. For instance they have specific needs at specific time (more or less) so most of their antics are predictable. Contohnya after feeding, nak tidur but if he refuse to sleep, check his diaper, then let him sleep on his stomach for awhile until he finishes his business (whatever at that time like kentut or poo) then change into new one and off he sleeps. Lately he feeds like there is no tomorrow. At 2 months old he weighed at 4.9 kg. Not that much I rasa sebab tengok baby lain at his age semuanya sasa belaka. Hahaha. Ayat sasa tu memang over kan. Last night Mikhail bf every one hour. Hambek. After feeding, I burped him, changed his diaper and when I was about to sleep, he woke up for another feeding session. Weeeee...I ended up ting tong today. So, Adam is off to kindy and Mikhail is dozing now. Mommy gonna shut her eyes for few minutes until ateh comes back. We have a special surprise for my husband today so gonna do some shopping petang ni. Nasib baik I masak awal so boleh la zzzzzz jap. Okay peeps, I could barely open my eyes dah.
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Mar 11, 2013

Cer teka cer teka

Aduhai, tak suka sungguh bila my students or young people use this type of words in their writing. Sometimes they sms you and left you wondering what the heck they smsed. Hahaha. Generation gap la ni kan. Nasib baik la ada member baik I pakcik google tu. So, takdelah I ni dianggap old school dek my students walaupun apa aku kisah kan.
Okay, habis je pantang, tau mana ku habiskan masa? Hahaha, nun ke Putrajaya kitaorang meronda. Plannya nak ke rumah my aunty and plannya juga nak pergi kejap aje sebab dengan baby ni I tak gemar balik rumah lewat malam. Bila baby meragam takleh tidur malam nanti susah la kan. But, dah borak-borak ni, my aunty ajak la my mom ke Alamanda bershopping. Ye, betul sangat, I telah berjaya ke Alamanda bershopping dengan jayanya. Alhamdulillah Mikhail tidur dlm gendongan daddy dengan nyenyaknya. Tapi when we were about to leave dia menangis sekuat hati sebab lapar so I had to feed him first before balik. Korang tau jelah bila dah ada baby ni, nak feed dia, tukar nappy, itu ini so kitaorang sampai rumah dah lewat malam. Risau juga la Mikhail meragam tapi alhamdulillah elok je dia tidur and bangun pun according to his feeding time je.
Bila bangun pagi tadi, satu badan sakit-sakit. Apalagi, ubat periuk dengan tungku la dicari. I guess my body still need time to adjust to its post pregnancy state. Maybe bagus juga sebenarnya to walk the mall during confinement (hahahaha). Yelah, limbs and joints need to adjust its original position kan. So, have to exercise them frequently is the answer.
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Feb 20, 2013

44 days

Alhamdulillah harini marked the 44th day of my confinement. Kalau orang dulu-dulu sure buat pulut kuning and rendang dah ni to celebrate the end of confinement period. Nowadays mungkin ada yg buat but maybe tak ramai.
As he grows up, Mikhail learns new things everyday and demonstrates what he learnt. Like, he is able to recognize my voice and daddy's voice. He could hold up his head for few second and of course, he loves to cuddle up to mommy any given time. Older people will disapprove bila kita peluk anak lama-lama kan. Sebab katanya nanti bila dah terbiasa, mommy susah nak buat kerja sebab baby nak dipegang sepanjang masa. This contradict dengan finding from books and internet where mommy and baby should spend time together for bonding during early days. Juga bagus untuk self confidence baby later on. But I guess everything should be done in moderation la kan. Janganlah peluk anak sampai rumah jadi tongkang pecah and makan minum ahli rumah yg lain tu terabai. Itu yg I buat. Selalunya after feeding, Mikhail will be sleepy and I will take some time to hold him and afterward will place him in the cot. Ada masa baby pun lenguh kan, baring aje all day long so I will lift him and play with him for awhile. Or, lately yg dia paling suka, turn him on his tummy and Inshaa Allah he will sleep with ease.
Baby grows up very quickly and I don't want to miss every moment of his development while I could, Inshaa Allah.
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Feb 16, 2013

Introducing Mohamad Adham Mikhail

Alhamdulillah we would like to introduce our addition to the family. By today (hopefully I could upload this post today) dah 40 hari kehidupan Mikhail didunia ni. Yeah, he goes by Mikhail. Big brother Adam as well as his makciks soooo love to call him Mika. Haishh, punyalah susah we strained our brains for his long name, kome panggil dia Mika yg sound like keropok? As what we practised with Adam, we chosed his (Mikhail) name very early during early pregnancy. Then, whenever we talked to the fetus, we will call his name. True enough in our case, bila lahir je daddy panggil nama dia he opened his eyes straight away. Amazing kan? Kuasa Allah SWT yg tiada tandingan.
Okay, initially I nak namakan dia Mohamad Mikhail je tapi daddy nak juga ada nama dihadapan yg start with A like his brother. Disebabkan hak memberi nama adalah hak si daddy, mommy follow suit with a reminder, nanti start schooling, or isi borang, daddy yg buat sebab lenguh weh jari jemari mommy yg langsing ni nak menulis nama dua orang hero yg panjang berjela.
As Mikhail is adjusting to his life in the world, Adam is adjusting to his new role as well. Though some days he got scolded for waking up Mikhail with his banging and screaming, some days he were so loving, brotherly and helping me out with little chores which earned him praises and kisses.
Mikhail is quite easy to please and well-behaved so far, alhamdulillah. He cries when he is hungry, sleepy (and Adam is making so much noices he cannot sleep), wetted his diaper and when no one is around him. He loves to snuggle up to mommy to sleep so if terjaga tengah malam, mommy juga dicari untuk dia tidur semula. Jadi, it justified the dark circle under my eyes yg sangat unbecoming tu.
To sum it all, I feel so blessed with the gift after two miscarriages and years of trying to conceive another child. Hahaha tapi bila kenangkan lamanya sakit dan betapa hebatnya sakit sebelum dan selepas bersalin tu, ada juga la rasa serik. Though people keep on saying we should try for a girl pula, I don't mind much about having boys in the family. I feel special in a way, being the only lady in the house, poyo kan? Hehehe.
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Feb 13, 2013

Adam is a big brother

Malam I menginap di hospital tu Adam tak boleh tidur. Hubby beritahu dia menangis tanyakan I and bila I boleh balik. Sweet juga la anak teruna tu dengan mommy kan. Selalu cari gaduh je dengan mommy semenjak daddy dah ada dirumah ni. Bila daddy bawa dia melawat I malam tu, excited dia tanya macam- macam. Lagi-lagi bila tengok tangan mommy sebelah kiri ada jarum drip and belah kanan lak tambah darah.
Kisahnya my bp was very low. Dalam 80-90/50. Doctors were anxious sebab every hours post op tu bila check the rate tamau naik. Ada once dropped until 75. But I feel fine je except from feeling tired and beaten ajelah. Sebab tu la I takleh grad masuk ward.hehehe sebab I was under observation. So kena duk depan nurse station la. Observation ward ni share dengan another four patients lg. But towards the end tinggal I berdua je ngan the other patient yg anak dia di NICU. Privacy agak kurang la but taklah sunyi. Then, bila I rang the bell tu nurse terus je datang sebab depan station diaorang je kan. I was not allowed to get up from the bed so nak buat apa pun nurse yg tolong. Hari kedua after op Dr decided untuk tambah darah sebab bp masih tak naik. Itu pun naik sikit sangat. They actually nak tambah another pint tapi nasib baik diselamatkan dek Pakar O&G yg datang melawat. I told them my bp memang low bila pregnant. Then hari ke tiga baru lulus buka semua jarum and catheter yg discharge urine tu.
My baby yang selama dua hari I takleh bangun tu, sangatlah angel and well- behaved nye which I sangat bersyukur. Hubby hanya datang waktu malam so korang bayangkan if dengan my condition tu, baby pula merengek, mau mommy pun nangis.
Though this delivery went through jagged journey, we are grateful everything were okay. Alhamdulillah.
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Jan 23, 2013

The Journey part 2

YLepas balik dari hospital tu I rasa the contraction intensified tapi fikirkan maybe awal lagi, I diamkan dulu. Sakitnya lain macam aje this time. Mom paksa I makan petang tu sebab bila dah start sakit tu dtg kerap nanti dh takde selera nk makan katanya and I will need extra energy for the hard work later so I pun makan walaupun takde selera dh sebenarnya. Then after maghrib dah memang nak bercakap pun tak mampu. Around 10 pm camtu I cakap dengan hubby, rasanya it is time to go to the hospital. Masa tu air ketuban memang tak pecah lagi and takde apa-apa show selain dari intense contraction. Sampai kat ER, tetiba urat belakang I tarik. Terus cakap dengan nurse I nak pitam. Masuk untuk check, the same Dr yg checked I petang td bagitau I dah buka 4 cm. So walaupun sakit, I rasa positive la kan. Inshaa Allah dapat le normal delivery this time. I was wheeled to the labour room and bila Dr O&G checked bukaan, I was bewildred, horrified and nervous sebab TAKDE BUKAAN lagi. Rasanya korang boleh imagine kut camane sakit bila dua kali buat VE, plus the second time tu Dr kata dia tolong untuk bukakan bukaan plus contraction yg dh makin kerap. After that I was transfered to the ward for the night. Memanglah tak boleh tidur tambah lg dengan dua belts yg melilit perut to monitor contraction and heart beat baby kan.

8 Jan 2013

I was commisioned into the service on this date 10 years ago and I was wheeled into the labour room at the same time I received my scroll, at about 1000H. I struggled with the pain and knowing yg there is no opening yet and baby position is still high, I have trouble to stay upbeat and positive. Just when the Dr help to speed up the opening dgn pecahkan air ketuban, the real pain of labour started. Gynae keluar masuk to monitor my progress and finally around 1200 camtu, pakar O&G, Brig Jen Dato' Dr Razak masuk to explain the real deal. He told me that emergency caesarian had to be performed sebab baby heartbeat is getting slower and my pelvic bone is small and normal delivery is difficult. Baby position is not helping normal delivery to progress. Sebab apa nanti I have to reconfirm dengan hubby sebab by then I was delirious with pain I barely acknowledged apa yg Dato'cakap. Yg I ingat I senyum bila dia kata takkan nak dapat anak pun menangis...haha.
So, I was transfered to the OT about an hour later. Masa tu gynae dtg buat VE again. If I was not in too much pain, memang I nak cakap tak yah la seksa I lagi.hehe. When she said, my cervic dh dilated at 8 cm dah, I macam confused, boleh go for normal delivery tak? But she said the risk is still there so pasrah la kena sembelih lg my tummy. I remember being so tired and I slept on and off during the surgery. Alhamdulillah Allah SWT permudahkan urusan kali ni and tepat jam 1414H, 8 Jan 2013, our second son was delivered to this world.
He was born with umbilical cord tangled around his neck. That was why I cannot deliver him through normal delivery. Alhamdulillah the cord was loosely tangled, otherwise it could lead to something more serious. Misalnya if I insisted for normal delivery juga.
Hubby was there, in tears bila Dr cakap we have to opt for the emergency c-sect. I lak rasa legaaaaaa, dalam hati bleh cakap lagi, cepatlah belah perutku. Sebabnya contraction memang dah full force tapi Dr kata tahan, tahan, jgn push. Uishhhhh.. cakap memang la senang kan tapi orang yang nak kena buat ni la yg rasa sangat susah. Naturally bila bukaan dah sampai 8 cm plus contraction dh kuat, kita automatically akan meneran tanpa disengajakan betul tak? But, Dr ada reason when they asked not to push.
Lepas keluar dari OT they placed me at recovery ward for awhile sebelum I was wheeled to the Observation Ward. Usually after a night at Observation Ward tu dah boleh masuk ward biasa dah tapi disebabkan I have few problem post op maka I stayed there until I was discharged.

To be continued...
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Jan 12, 2013

The journey

4 Jan 2013
Braxton hicks dah start semakin kerap. I even time it up berapa kali perut mengeras. Indeed it is more frequent than before. Baby is very active. Kicking my ribs, buat wave la sampai boleh nampak my tummy bergerak from bujur to a very odd shape. Hehehe. Lower back pain yang selama ni sakit on and off dah start sakit but not too intense yet. Same goes to the lower abdomen discomfort tu. I tell you, nak bangun bila once dah duduk tu punya la seksa but if I sit for a long time nanti backache pulak. Then maybe sambal hubby masak agak pedas so the whole night I frequent the loo sampai rasa letih. Manja pula perut I ni lately sampai pedas sikit tak tahan.

5 Jan 2013
Awal-awal pagi hubby dah bertolak ke Lumut to settle his work and then to bring my mom to Kl. Since hubby is going to start his one year course here and coincidently the course will start during my due date period, I have to rely on mom to take care of me during the early days of confinement period. Plus Adam pun akan start going to GA next week. Memang banyak la event next week. So, instead of balik kampung to deliver, we have to deliver here since once hubby start his course, tak sure dia boleh balik masa I nak deliver nanti. Of course dia nak untuk be at my side during delivery and azankan our baby walaupun I cakap I tak kisah sangat to deliver alone. My dad pun ada to azankan if it comes to that kan. But I have to listen to his wish juga kan. Dah la katanya menunggu nak dapat baby no 2 ni sampai 6 tahun. Maka tak dapatlah anak no 2 I ni jadi orang Perak like his abang.

6 Jan 2013
Alhamdulillah my hubby and my mom selamat sampai semalam around 2130H. All the while he was at Lumut, asyik wassapp tanya I ada sakit ke belum, dah makan ke belum. Kesian hubby I. Nak kemana-mana pun hati tak senang risaukan I sakit masa dia takde. Biasalah bila dah cukup term ni, keselesaan optimum tu memang takdelah kan. Tidur pun tak lena, berjalan pun kelajuan sama standard dengan kura-kura je rasa. Dari dapur ke family hall rasa macam jauh sangat..haha.
As usual, bila my mom datang, macam-macam la yang dibawa bersama. Buah rambutan la, tempoyak la, daun pandan, daun kari, daun limau purut semua dibawa. Senang nak buat air mandi I nanti katanya. Bunga kantan pun ada nak dibuat laksa. Lunch tadi dah dimasak sambal tumis ikan bilis yang mak yong teringin nak makan, petang ni pula my mom masak laksa sebab bila dah bersalin, I selalunya tak makan dah laksa until anak I dah dua tahun camtu so dek kesiankan mak yong yg menunggu masa je ni, my mom pun buatkan. Habis la musnah diet routine my hubby and my sis. Tapi yg my mom masak tu semua untuk mak yong kan, takde siapa yg paksa diaorang makan pun.
So far I takde rasa sakit-sakit yg tak tertahan lagi la. Rasa macam kedudukan baby pun still tinggi. Camne rasa? Bila bangun dari posisi baring, masih lagi terasa ketat kat tulang rusuk. Bila tanya my mom, jawapan dia sama je ngan jawapan dlm buku mahupun pakcik google which is, baby tu tahu bila sampai masa dia nak turun sendiri. Hehehehe. Apa yg boleh dibuat sekarang, banyakkan berdoa dan tawakkal pada Allah SWT. Dia Yang Maha Mengetahui.

7 Jan 2013
Semalam I mentioned to hubby yang if baby nk keluar anytime pun mommy is ready sebab dah makan laksa. Hehehe.. Then malam dah start sakit sikitx so I rasa macam dah tak lama ni. Then, pagi around 1000 masa I tengah kemas dapur, rasa cam nak ke toilet. Jeng jeng jeng, tengok dah ada bloody show kat panty liner. Apa I rasa? Takde la nervous sebab nampak darah ke apa sebab mentally rasanya dah prepared. Tunggu until 1500 baru ke HAT Tunku Mizan. I rasa belum masanya but just in case kitaorang gi juga la check. After ctg and VE ( yang ni sangat tak suka okeh), Dr tanya I samada nk admitted atau nk tunggu kat rumah. Of course la I nak balik kalau takde keperluan. So, balik dulu and tunggu la masanya tiba. Sangat berdebar. Owh, and masih takde opening and baby pun tinggi lagi. Masya Allah, apa pun kami berdoa agar dimudahkan walau dengan apa cara sekalipun kelahiran baby nanti.

Will be continued...
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Jan 2, 2013

We are waiting

Alhamdulillah it is already the second day of the new year. Since Adam school session will only start next week, takdelah we all sesibuk kawan-kawan yg menghantar anak kesekolah hari ni. Harini mak yong sibuk settle urusan LHDN dan LTAT sebelum terlambat..hehe. Nanti dh start confinement susah la pula hubby nak uruskan dek dia pun akan start sibuk dengan studynya.
Settle urusan di LHDN Wangsa Maju, terus ke Columbia Asia Setapak for appoinment. Patutnya jumpa Dr Sudha my gynae tu hari Isnin tapi dia ada emergency case jadi ditunda kehari ni. As usual during consultation and scan, bagitau la dia yg kadang- kadang rasa cam menstrual cramp and backache. Mula-mula dia kata uri cam kat bawah, kat situ mak yong dah gelabah. Alamak,camne all these while elok je terletak tetiba kat bawah lak? Then after awhile, which agak sakit gak la since dia pressed kat bekas luka c-sect tu agak kuat to get a clearer view, dia kata okay uri terletak elok. Fuhhhhh, alhamdulillah. Tapiiiii kepala baby belum engage lagi. Still high katanya...hukhukhuk. Then for safety measure she recommended ctg. Jadinya terlentang la mak yong for 45 mins. Baby pulak tidur so masa yg patutnya 45 mins je jadi longer than that sebab midwives terpaksa goncang-goncang kacau baby suruh bangun. Alhamdulillah baby is doing fine in mommy's tummy. During the ctg, ada la very mild contraction so Dr Sudha kata try buat VE. Masa dia kata let's do VE to check samada ada opening ke tak, I dah seram sejuk. Dalam banyak-banyak benda, this thing la yang paling I tak gemar. I rasa mommies out there pun paling tak gemar bila kena buat procedure ni kan. Hati dap dup dap dup lagi bila dia kata langsung takde opening. Ni dah minggu ke 39 you all. Through readings and Dr pun cakap, it is not unusual baby head tak engage lagi until labour, but if by 8 Jan masih belum ada sign of labour, other possibility must be considered. Jadi, sementara menunggu masa itu tiba, I am going to do everything I can, inshaa Allah. Doa kami semoga both of us selamat tanpa masalah. Amin.
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First entry on the first day

Alhamdulillah masih diberi upaya dan peluang oleh Allah SWT untuk bernafas dimuka bumi dan berpeluang menulis untuk entry pertama tahun 2013.
Selamat Tahun Baru 2013. Hopefully 2012 yang baru aje beberapa jam ditinggalkan akan memberi semangat yang lebih to us untuk menghadapi cabaran baharu di tahun baru ni.
We celebrated the stroke of midnight by going to bed early..haha. Sungguh tak meriah ye tak? I was not feeling well last night and Adam was very tired so we decided to call it a night though malam masih muda.
Last year we attended New Year Celebration at the mess tapi frankly said, I prefer to spend the remaining hour of 2012 at home, safe and comfortable.
Hari ni we attended Adam's Induction Day at school. Since this year is his 3rd year at the school, takde masalah sangat sebab most of the teachers know him. As usual, we picked up his message book, talk to his class teacher, sorted out his transportation and we are done. Yuran dah dibayar lebih awal sebab tak mau bersesak harini nak membayar yuran dengan parents yg lain. His first day of school will be on the 7th and since tahun ni dia akan dihantar dan diambil oleh school van, we pray for his safety and hope everything will be fine.
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