The day start off beautifully. I woke up early to prepare my hubby's uniform since he has a very important meeting today while he mixed our breakfast drinks..pretty much a routine during weekdays. Then when he went to work at about 0530, I checked my emails, prepared my bag and Adam's things. At about 0700, Adam woke up and took my handphone on the dresser and demanded to play 'car'. So..I opened the game application and let him play it while waiting for me to get dressed. Adam is a morning person...unlike me who is most of the time grouchy before my first coffee (notice hubby mixed my coffee at about 0500?) so he rarely cry or whine when I woke him up though he is still red eyes sleepy...what's the point of me telling you guys this? oh well..it'll come up soon...

I noticed nothing until I get Adam to his sitter, finished my last lecture for this semester and went to my office...then...when I checked my handphone for any messages and calls (since I often silenced my hp during class)...tadaa....there were several messages from hubby, students and one message which put a very big question mark in my head...kenapa this guy send me a sms? apalagi yg dia nak? Appearently, this ex bf sent me message just to ask me why did I call him this morning? Errr....call him? not in my triliiion year ye. Then I checked my outgoing call..yup, true enough, I DID CALLED HIS NUMBER...which I thought I had it deleted years ago. Then baru teringat yg I baru saved all the numbers in the sim card to the phone.So his number surely di saved sama la. I had his number deleted years ago and was very surprised to see his name appeared on the screen. So I replied his sms to say sorry for my son's behalf since obviously Adam yg called because he used my handphone this morning. My thought was to make it clear that I did not make the call...tapi dah berpanjang pula isunya. He told me (through sms) yang I ni emak yg tak bertanggungjawab sebab bagi hp to my son sebab tak nak bagi my son menangis..as something to play with to distract his mind la..then keep on insulting with accusation after accusation. Well, pantang I if benda tak betul and orang yg tak de kena mengena cakap macamtu..

All in all, I realize with a huge relief...my hubby is way too good if compare with this guy yg dulunya I rasa paling perfect and memahami I. He also said he will not forgive me forever for what I did to his life...apa yg I buat pada hidup dia???Tak faham la...he said he is married, then???lain la if pasal break off dengan I terus jadikan dia seorang gay yg hanya bernafsu pda lelaki kan? Then surely rasa bersalah sebab sorang lagi umat Islam tunduk pada godaan syaitan kan? Lagipun, dia siapa tak nak maafkan seorang manusia lain? Even Allah swt ampun sebesar-besar dosa umat nya...takkan la dia ingat dia...(fikir la sendiri ye). Dia terlalu sempurna ke sampai takde langsung dia kata ada salah dia?Semuanya salah I and semuanya dosa I la this thing terjadi??? yelah, semuanya dia blame on me sebab I was the one yg left him...ego yg besar sebab dia claimed tak mudah jatuh hati, tak mudah tunduk pada perempuan hancur berderai la.

I don't know whether dia 'rajin' nak google my name and surely this blog will appear or kawan-kwan or saudara-mara tolong cari ke apa ke kan.Tapi if you (lelaki yg saya ceritakan ni) baca blog I ni....Sesungguhnya saya sudah melupakan awak dan apa yg terjadi. Dulu, saya masih terasa 'sakit' kerana terpaksa membuat keputusan yg memisahkan kita tapi rasa 'sakit' tu dah hilang dengan rasa sayang dan cinta saya pada lelaki yg ada dalam hidup saya. Makin hilang bila awak menunjukkan 'diri' sebenar awak semasa krisis melanda. Suami saya yg sepatutnya lebih marah dan sepatutnya jadi lebih tidak rational pun tidak berkelakuan seperti awak. Dia memafkan awak dan saya dan menganggap semuanya dugaan dari Allah. Tak pernah dia keluarkan kata-kata kesat mengeji dan menghina awak dan saya. If not because your sms pagi tadi...saya sudah tidak mengingati awak..sekelumit pun tidak. Malah, rupa awak pun saya dah tak ingat dan tak nak ingat pun.

I already move on with my life....sudah lama.Awak bila lagi ye? Sudah-sudah la simpan perasaan pada saya. Saya dah jumpa my soul mate la awak...so please go away okay.