Last Thursday, the whole world..US Military and Government especially were shaken by the turn of event..by 'ultimate betrayal' (according to several Texas newspapers) in one of the biggest Army base set up at Texas, USA and most strictly guarded. Yeah, the shooting spree that took 13 victims last thursday by all was a shocked when the shooting occured inside the base vicinity and the gunmen was one of the Officer of US Army. For someone yg pernah berada di dalam persekitaran US training facilities, I boleh cakap yg the security level setiap base sangat ketat...especially to Muslim after the 11/9 tragedy. Jadi, when someone from the inside yg membuat durja..mesti ada something wrong kan? When I read the Dallas Daily, the writer insinuated that Maj Nidal was a good officer but being accused of being a devout to Islam. Pelik kan? apalah salah jika taat beragama sekalipun? Yelah..maybe if the 'killer' is someone called Johnson ke Smith ke..it's not that sensitive. Tapi kerana Nidal adalah seorang muslim, ianya menjadi satu provocation. I was trained at Lackland Air Force Base, San Antonio, which is about 3++ hours journey by car but been to Fort Hood for official visits and trip. I went there at the height of all prejudices against muslim and seriously...when semua orang pandang you because you were the only one yg pakai tudung...and treated you with cautious...you tend to be self concious. Maybe itu juga yg dirasa oleh Maj Nidal although he is an American citizen..apatah lagi apabila menunggu masa untuk di deploy ke Iraq..to go against the muslims. Of course the conflict was too much even for the shrink himself. In CNN, the Nidal family said he complained about being treated differently and once his car was scratched because he had the 'Islamic' bumper sticker. Maybe he just snapped like most people as reported...we don't know kan?

Tapi for someone yg pernah mengikuti latihan disana, if we have no patient and easily offended, memang susah nak sesuaikan diri. I still remember of being asked the reason I wear tudung at one of the drug store. When I said as a muslim, I have to wear it as it is ordered for every women of age...then I was asked kenapa ramai muslim perempuan yg lain tak pakai pun tudung if I dah kata wajib..so in order not to offend anyone yg might heard me..I cakap la..dalam mana-mana anutan agama pun ada yg devout and ada yg tidak..sama juga dengan Islam. Nak bagi orang luar faham budaya kita dan pegangan kita agak sukar sebenarnya tapi tak mustahil. I still made friends all over the world although they feel 'segan' dengan I. From the Arab's point of view..if perempuan pakai tudung ni kiranya perempuan yg sangat alim so diaorang tak la treated me like they treated our muslim friends from other countries. If terserempak dengan I usually they will greated me with salam walaupun I tak kenal rapat since ada yg bukan satu batch with me. The staffs pula ada yg respect our believes and ada yg kurang...tapi I took it as lumrah manusia la.

Apa yg berlaku dengan Maj Nidal adalah diluar pemahaman kita. Mungkin dia sendiri tak dapat mengawal 'sakit hati' nya lagi...who know? Tapi, satu yg tak mungkin I lupakan is di pandang dengan penuh sinis semasa di Colorado Airport untuk transit.