Nov 6, 2009

I had this conversation with someone few days back. Memang tak letak as early entry coz biding my time to ask for hubby's opinion. Karang orang kata syok sendiri pula kan...so better tanya orang yg takkan tipu for the sake of ambil hati...haaa..my hubby kan, if I put on weight ke, muka naik jerawat ke, if I ask him, he will say, yes, you dah tambah berat la yang or haah, muka naik jerawat banyak pula sekarang...confirm tak tipu hanya untuk amek hati..huhuhu..
So, this person said to me that I look like someone yg memang takde masalah...dan mesti best hidup I kan sebab takde masalah. And then this person went on by saying dia nak sangat jadi macam I...whatever jadi pun cool aje handle everything. My oh my!!! I myself tak tau nak clasify ni sebagai compliment ka, statement ka, luahan rasa ka...sungguh I terkedu. So after this person finally stop dia nye rambling about how perfect my life is and how lucky I am...I went on saying and explaining that, I do..like a normal human being, ada masalah. I am also not so lucky with so many things but at the same time lucky to have few meaningful things. My life is not perfect as dia viewed. I had gone through so many hurtful events through out my life and a bit of ruffle of problem memang dah tak freak me out. I won't lash out my worries or problems at the office..which mean, masalah di rumah kekal berada di rumah and masalah pejabat will remain at the office. If I bring the problems back and forth...I don't know how will I do my work as an Army Officer, as a teacher, as a Ketua Panitia, as a Ketua Jabatan, as a Ketua Kompeni, as a wife, as a mother, as a student and as a daughter and sister in my family. Sometimes I do feel so stressed out with works and with family matters but takkan nak shirk the responsibilities every time kita langgar dinding kan? Nak tak nak kena figure it out how to go around the obstacle if not go through it rather than ignore the looming obstacle yg takkan kemana.
Dulu, masa I was the undergrad student, banyak betul dugaan yg datang...even masa my earliest years working pun. Bukan sekadar conflict diri tapi terlalu banyak yg datang at one time. At that time, I learnt how to be strong and how to stand on my own...even now, my own best friend yg stay together with me cakap, If I happen to kehilangan dia, I still will be able to look ahead and goes on with life but if anything happen to me..dia pun tak sure whether dia boleh..
So to say, obstacles in life, blunders that you make, bukan untuk kita rasa hidup kita tak sesempurna orang lain, tak segembira orang lain...tapi for us to take it positively and move on. Lagi banyak cabaran, lagi kuat semangat kita. So, for that someone yg memang baca my blog ni, I am not perfect..and I do have my own problems and worries...but it doesn't mean we cannot smile, being nice to peoples, be happy and be positive.

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