I'm away for about 2 weeks now from the school and home in order to fulfill my responsibility as a language instructor to the foreign participants from various countries learning Bahasa Malaysia. As much as I want to teach everything I know about the language I'm borned with, it's impossible for them to get everything. It's not easy really...if they're not able to grasp a simple rule of language which is patience!! It can be frustrating when you can't find words that you could understand, as I also experienced the same thing with my Spanish but it says, "Patience is Virtue". And 2 weeks is just for basic rule.

I'm sitting at the hotel lobby waiting for my brother to pick me up. I ended up sitting and blogging to kill my boredom. I wish I have my hand on the latest of Meyer's work but unfortunately the book is in the room and the key is with my brother. Although I'm minding my own business and self (not staring at people nor talking to anyone), it didn't stop others to stop and asked me what I'm doing and what's my rank in the Army and why did I join the service. My oh my...though I'm naturally friendly and sociable but after spending 6 hours of teaching Bahasa Malaysia by using English to 22 foreign participants...I really not in the mood to talk. I'm tired and I just want to go home.

I don't blame people for their curiosity but I'm just beat...of course..when you're wearing a uniform and you sit alone at the hotel lobby...mestilah orang pandang-pandang. I'm used to that already tapi tak tahan la bila I need to talk after 6 endless hour of talking.

For this 2 weeks I'll be teaching Bahasa Malaysia to 22 foreign participants from various countries namely Sudan, Kazakhstan, Vietnam, Thailand, Myanmar, and other countries. It's tiring both pyhsically and mentally since you have to teach by using English and a number of them are not even fluent in English. But challenges as this yang I like..it gives 'taste' to my life and in a way I'm learning too.

Well..I just hope Achik will be here soon..I'm so tired and I need a bath.

Minggu yang memeningkan kepala dan menyesakkan jiwa.WHY? Several reasons too personal to mention. To summarize all that happened and are going to happen soon:

1. If Allah dah tentukan itu rezeki kita or rezeki orang lain, nobody could argue or do anything to change it.

2. Adalah hikmahnye if sesuatu tu terjadi walau bukan mengikut kemahuan diri. Muhasabah la diri jika sebenarnya kita rasa kita layak mendapatnya TETAPI tidak terjadi sebegitu at the end of the day.

3. Bukan semua orang yg particular about details seperti diri sendiri. If you feel frustrated about this, try to imagine sekiranya orang yg tak particular about details tu PERLU memberi penekanan terhadap sesuatu perkara..dia juga akan merasa frustration seperti yg dialami oleh diri..jadinya, what goes around comes around. Tak perlu marah-marah.

4. Although you'll feel the way you discipline your kid is the most effective way, jgn cuba dengan anak orang lain hatta anak saudara sendiri..complicated.

Although sometimes I will blast out my anger or frustration without reservation siapa yg dengar atau tidak...ada masa cuba juga disabarkan diri. Niat untuk berubah di tahun baru ni...hmmm..mencabar sungguh.

I just would like to share these pics as it gives certain meaning to my interpretation.My ayah is going to retire soon and we know he loves his job and very dedicated. He's the first to arrive and will be the last to leave the post office. When I was small, he was a post man and he cycled to deliver posts. Yet he continued working after nearly 29 years. He is a second mel operator now and retirement won't be easy for him. So, he fills up his free time with planting sugar cane at our backyard. We wish he won't have to work as hard as before but if he stop doing it, he surely will be bored.

Ayah with his pose.I manage to wake up early enough to catch him in action.

This picture was taken at my parents' backyard. I rarely venture out from the house. I guess I love staying inside rather than outside. The main reason was since I stayed at the hostel people around the area didn't really know me so whenever they see me, they gawk and stare at me as if I have something on my face. It's becoming annoying year by year. When I go out, it'll be early in the morning or late in the evening.

And this brand new handphone is my latest possession. After 4 years using the same handphone, I feel different. They said this is the latest in the market. But when we bought it..I didn't know..I just picked the one that really 'good looking'.What they say about good taste again??

On supposed to be my happy day..a day to celebrate and a day to talk sweet nothing...I feel absolutely depressed and down. I feel the happiness slowly creeping out from my system. Why would I feel down in such a short period of happiness?

1. The SPM result is out and I have to start preparing my report on English Language performance. What would I say as Ketua Panitia? And what would I say as a Teacher? The result increased by 3.4 % but it is expected to be higher. Could I say the students failed to realize the importance of this subject? Could I say their academic background is not strong enough that if they didn't really work hard they'll fail to score?A big NO NO...as a teacher we have to be responsible towards the performance of our students (I didn't say this but I was made to say this because it's expected).

2. I was nominated to go to DLIEC, Texas for a 4 months course but was pulled out from the list immediately because of one reason, there'll be a shortage of English teacher here. After 2 years of not going anywhere or to any course...I am so unhappy with this decision. This unit is admittedly is the busiest and hectic place ever. You'll always be on your toe. When I'm nominated to go for a long course..it's like a godsent..then I could 'escape' for a while and armoured myself with more knowledge to share with the students. I'm livid and I'm depressed. There are so many things in my chest threatening to explode and I better stop before I write something I'm not suppose to.

Malam semalam kami (I and hubby) went to Gemencheh.At first, I hitched a ride from Apit and hubby drove straight to Gemencheh from Lumut after the meeting. I met hubby and we went for a 'little slippery walk'. It was raining and the weather was grayish. Though Apit prayed hard for the rain to stop...siapalah kita disisi kehendak kuasa Allah swt. Nevertheless the journey had opened my eyes and I am overwhelmed with Apit's determination. Hopefully what we're hoping and working on will pay all the trouble ye Apit.

I was so busted and in need of my bed and pillow. I guess Adam understand our tiredness and of rare occasion he played by himself. If you know my son..you'll know he needs constant 'entertainment' from us to keep him alive and not crying out of boredom and usually I will be his fave victim to play with. Why victim?my oh my..you should see how he bullied me to all four everyday.

Hubby were understanable tired as he drove all the way. Before he drift to the state of unconciousness, he whispered to my right ear, "Happy Anniversary sayang". But me being me..said, not yet la Abang..kita nikah after zuhur bukan at midnight. And he opened his eyes and said.."tak boleh ke wish sekarang?" and I said "No..belum time lagi la..mana boleh".

So this morning he called again to wish but I said the same thing...and what makes it funny was when he said, "Owh, pagi ni tengah make up ye..belum nikah lagi"

And I know he gonna call again soon...

Last 4 years we were united as husband and wife in a simple ceremony. And 2 weeks after that he flew to France, hence the simple ceremony. Since then, we have had our shares of ups and downs together. We had been tested during the earlier years and being together now signify that he is meant to be my soul mate. And we wish and pray that this relation will be as gloriously happy and blessed 'till death do us part'.

Dear hubby, thanks for the thought and a present is not adequate to replace your love and sacrifices for me all these years. I don't need a meaningless present because for me, you and Adam are my priceless present in my life. Thank you for sharing your life with me and make me your life. Though we missed the 2 years of it, we'll make it up for many years to come, Insyaallah. And I do love you so much.

Happy 4th Anniversary!!

Bila melawat blog Kak Ana, entry terbarunya tentang Amir Yusuf. At first I was wondering who is he.After akak's entry, I'm curious to know more about what happen to the little angel so I clicked to the particular blog http://www.fajaril.net/blog
When I'm done with the reading,I realise I should be grateful for the happiness Allah bless upon our family. Maybe juga I'm not strong enough of a person untuk diuji sepertimana keluarga Encik Fajar diuji.I'm not sure if I would not crumble under that amount of pressure.

Sometimes I shout and I become angry with my lil guy for a mere mistakes and sometimes I ignore his cry for attention because I am tired. When I read En. Fajar's blog, I feel terribly guilty of my behaviour.

What if one day the smile on his face disappear? what if he no longer running here and there? what if he no longer laughing? I could not imagine my life without it...

We're back to Taiping last Friday with my sisters on tow.For nearly a month and plus of not coming back, I almost forgotten the long journey and the traffic we have to endure when traveling north during long weekends. Though we started the journey a bit late than usual (to give chance for the driver to fill up his stomach and rest for awhile) ,I guess we clocked about 4 and half hour to reach home...not bad considering the traffic which could be said quite bad (goes to some of the drivers and the number of cars and lorries and whatnot on the road). Throughout the journey Adam only slept half part of it...much to my and his aunt chagrin. He was more fascinated with the wheels of buses and trailers than sleeping. Other than stupid and rude drivers, the journey was fine. I exchanged the driver's seat after Ipoh Utara as hubby was sleepy and although I'd prefer not to drive at night, safety is first.
Taiping is as glorious as ever..raining and raining and we love it. Although we have to sacrifice a trip to zoo AGAIN due to rain, Adam seems happier here. I guess he is happy for company other than his mommy and daddy.
Also after months of browsing and research and waiting, finally I become a proud owner of Nikon D90. We bought it at the camera shop at Taiping as it were the best offer I would probably get. I was so happy I couldn't sleep..hahaha. Since I've been using Canon Ixus before, there'll be lots to learn with the new toy. Since I already splurged my money on that ND90, I'll be on a very tight budget for awhile. Baru je fikir nak berholiday to celebrate our anniversary this month. Takpelah..if we have a small budget then try to spend it within the budget right?

The page is quieter these days..I know. Nowadays, I just visit other blogs...reading and try to picture their lives. It's not that I'm too busy to write or too boring of life to escape anything interesting to write here but I'm feeling under the weather a bit this few week. Instead of posting a gloomy writing, I'd sit back and enjoy others' writing.

Last week was series of flurry images of test at the embassy, PIL's house, visiting relatives and attending one wedding. I wasn't concerntrating while doing the ECL test at the embassy so I got 93/100. Last time I got 98/100. I guess it was because I was 30 mins late to the test and the feeling of guilt was still overwhelming. I could blame it to the horrible traffic jam and to reach the US Embassy on time was impossible...but I couldn't.It was simply my fault of not going out earlier than I was suppose to. I really hate to be late comers and I don't like to not be on time. Hubby told me not to be hard on myself but knowing my own self...it's not that simple. So that's how I got such a low mark..sigh sigh...though I was warned that I wouldn't be attending the course because the unit will be short of staff..I still like to score for my own satisfaction.

Oh..before that I should explain that the directorate nominated me for the ALPS course at Texas, USA. I already attended AELIC at the same place over 2 years back and will be glad to go back for another course though I requested to go to Canada at the first place. Of course they said I was overly qualified for Canada's course...to my disappoinment.

But I should be grateful...apa yg berlaku ada hikmahnya...anything happened for a reason and who are we to question that. Maybe I'm suppose to complete my Master degree first this june..who know right?

As for the wedding we went, it was my junior's wedding and what could I say..it was a marvellous wedding reception...the foods and of course the beautiful bride and good looking groom. I was not in the mood to take pics but I have fews of Adam...will post it later.

Hubby commented that when my mind is preoccupied with things..I would be quieter and moodier...hmmm...such is not good right?

And also..March is our month of love...not that we're not in love with each other every day but this month will mark our 4th year of marriage...already? baru macam semalam je hubby propose and I told him that he's crazy..hehehehe.