My mom said, "Breakfast is important if you want to get rid of the excessive weight"

My usual reaction will be, "Ye ke?" and mom will reply, "Check in the internet la"...hahaha...because her anak-anak memang manjang online, termasuk la adik kecik so dia rasa we should aware of all the facts. But, the time that we spent online adakah untuk searching for infos? I could say yes now since I'm back of being a student but before this? Usually I'll google on recipes, places to go for holiday, IKEA website (sekarang pun), ada juga la info about health, beauty and makeup and fashion and baby. Nowadays pula tambah dengan Facebook.

Cerita tentang fb ni kan, masa minum-minum dengan my colleague, timbul tentang cerita cemburu bila dapat 'bertemu' kekasih lama di fb. Of course cemburu the spouses la kan. Ada baik buruknya fb ni. Yang baiknya dapat berjumpa kawan-kawan lama yg dah berpuluh tahun tak jumpa..mengeratkan tali silaturrahim. Yang kurang baiknya bila bergaduh bercerai berai dek kerana fb ni juga...runtuh masjid yg telah terbina sekian lama because of fb. Not to mention yg propose, yang mengurat, yg mengayat dalam fb ni...macam-macam.

I discussed about perasaan cemburu ni with hubby last night and I asked him to come clean about his feeling if I go out with my exes without him? Maybe just for drinks and chat only la. He told me before (masa awal-awal kahwin dulu la) that he is okay with it as long as I know the limitation. Tapi jawapan semalam sudah berubah la...when he said, of course he will feel jeolous if I went out with my ex without him tapi dia akan berbaik sangka la yg I hanya keluar minum dan tahu the limitation...hehehehe..then I cakap la, dulu he said okay..ni dah coming to 5 years together dah kata jeolous pula...tersengih-sengih la dia..admitting that he cannot imagine his life without me, ever..and he doesn't want to risk it by any chance.. hehehehe..meleleh dengar ye.

So, memang I didn't add the exes in the fb. Tak nak cari masalah. Of course, no feelings, love or affection involve lagi tapi hati manusia...I tak berani mengambil risiko kegembiraan bertanya khabar for 30 minutes meruntuhkan mahligai yg susah payah we built from scratch for almost 5 years..

Jadinya, entry harini bukan tentang macamana nak hilangka berat tapi about fb..hahaha..go figure la camane bleh menyimpang jauh ni.

Ops...forgot one entry...in which hubby said shouldn't be posted (jokingly la since dia malu malu kucing). One night when we were watching tv (Adam was sleeping otherwise no conversation would took place), hubby popped one bonus question...what movie or story had me crying? Since dia tau wife dia ni jenis stone je tengok cerita sedih cam takde makna...so, I asked him first (memang la favourite perangai jenis jawab balik dengan soalan ni) which movie had him mopping..huhuhu..his tears..expecting jawapannya takde la.

Tapi jawapannya..."Mohabatein" (Not sure about the spelling though)...well...sebelum I asked why, hentam ketawa sampai tergolek (betul-betul tergolek eh)...sampai hubby dah termalu-malu dah...teruk nye bini ye. Then I proceded by asking why did he cried? Yelah..since memang cerita hindustan ni not in my list, curious jugaklah nak tau. Jawapannya? Biarlah I simpan je...anticlimax ye? Dah janji tak nak reveal so have to keep it..hehehehe. Tapi seriously, cannot imagine la camane nak nangis tengok cerita hindi ni..coz sibuk tengok the actors and actresses salin baju macam-macam style and warna...tak masuk lagi bab menari pusing-pusing naik turun gunung ganang tu. Bab buka baju lagi and bab baju basah lagi..hehehehe...

Me? kena adil ye? I cried my heart out for Puteri Gunung Ledang and Green Miles. I watched PGL, like hundred of times and still cry whenever I watch it. Hubby said...I think too much and when I watch a movie...it always a movie that need intrepretation..which he doesn't really like...hehehehe...yelah, mana boleh sama je minat walaupun share semuanya kan? but, Mohabatein????hmmmm...

Date: 28 Oct 2009

Time: 0720

Place: Living Hall, PD

When I came from the kitchen to get Adam's thing before sending him to his baby sitter house, I 'catched' him climbing on the cabinet.

Me: Adam, jangan panjat la, nanti jatuh.

Adam: Adam nak ambil emote (remote) ni aje.

Me: Kenapa Adam tak panggil mommy minta ambilkan?

Adam: Mommy shibuk. Adam ambil sendiri. Adam anjat (panjat).

Me: Bila pulanya mommy cakap mommy sibuk kat Adam?

Adam: Semalam (Dengan selamba on tv cari channel cartoon).

Me: Adam nak tengok cerita apa tu?

Adam: Cite (cerita) alam (semalam)...ada car.

Me: Hari-hari tengok tengok Rory tak boring ke?

Adam: Boring la...

huhuhu...kesimpulannya, budak-budak kecil ni memory sangat kuat...once we denied their wishes by giving excuses..they will remember. Sometimes memang masa tengah busy la diaorang nak meminta itu ini...termasuk la I. Lesson learn...thanks Adam for reminding me my mistakes.

Right now, I am under pressure to complete my group writing assignments (ada 2 hutang dengan Kak Mona and Rahan), my term paper, article review and paling pressure nak siapkan proposal my research. Ya Allah, bagai macam nak pecah kepala aku baca semua scholar articles about child development. Nak mencari article yg paling tepat untuk merumuskan dan 'menceritakan' tentang research aku. So far my proposed tittle yg telah mendapat anggukan Dr Aziah is, "Motivating speaking skill through play acting among the pre school children at Pusat PERMATA Negara". Tak sure la pula nanti fikiran berubah nak mengalih arah ke ESP's area pula. So I have to do LOTSA reading on motivation, children development and psycology, literature and children lit...rasa aku la setakat rough mapping yg dibuat. Sakit sakit sakit kepala. Since my research is ethnography, kena mencari pusat PERMATA la untuk buat pilot study...BUT, itupun if rajin teramat dan I have time to spare in which I really doubt la.

I know I know..this entry is so 'rojak' and halibut...if you feel dizzy reading it, janganlah baca. Tuan punya blog need to release some steam off her head.

Weh, baru first sem dah pening bab research ni...apa cerita ni? Takpelah (console diri sendiri), at least taklah terkedu di akhir sem baru nak menggagau mencari articles and references. At least I prepare the boat and well equipped it before I go sailing..hahahaha...literary ek.

Bulan december ni dah start masuk second sem...bila dapat course time table..uhuk uhuk...senak perut dan usus bila 'membaca' nama prof f will be with us for next sem...I don't want to speculate until I get to know her..as in 'don't judge a book by its cover' la kes..tapi bila ada sekali tu 'selisih' komen-komen dia to my classmates, at least it shows some of the true color la somehow. This sem punya lecturers memang best...sangat understanding the demand of part time students like us...boleh tolerate certain things dengan berhemah..next sem? I don't know what to expect.

Awal december juga start with acara bercanda di Pulau Langkawi...macam nak start saving for shopping tapi bila discuss dengan 'CEO', semua spending kena freeze sampai ekonomi negara pulih. Mau tak..CEO tu rugi USD 700 baru-baru ni. Lupakan niat shopping, just hiburkan hati berjemur sampai gelap jelah nanti.

Urghhh...makin tak make sense apa yg aku tulis. Back to my reading.Current status is doing the assignment for Kak Mona to compile..sabar kak..nanti saya hantar.

Yesterday (cerita dah basi sebenarnya) Adam was being difficult when I sent him to his baby sitter...he cried and refused to go and insisted to follow mommy to work. Then I told him that he cannot follow me to work...and anak I ni memanglah a difficult negotiator. Tau apa dia kata? haa..'mommy beli mainan kat Adam!'. My oh my...pandai minta toys dah. So I agreed la and thought he will forget camtu je...but no..as soon as dia bangun dari evening nap, terus dia bagitau baby sitter dia 'Adam nak balik, mommy nak beli mainan.' Even masa daddy dia ambil dia, he kept repeating it. So we went out, first to get his hair trimmed sebab dah cam apa tah rambut panjang. Baik betul dia this time around..dah boleh duduk kat kerusi tu alone with having to hold him dah. Then after that, he reminded us again that he wanted his toys..hmmm...so we went to the town and let him choose what he wants Nasib la tak banyak pilihan kat The Store PD nih..tapi memang boleh agak apa yg dia kan pilih...apa lagi if not car. This time dia nak yg besar remote control one but I said no..nanti bukan setakat dia je yg main, dengan daddy sekali terjebak. I only relented to the one yg memang main dua tiga kali sure patah punya. If you know my son yg memang lasak and kasar tu...dia akan 'repair' and 'modify' his toys as he wish. So baik la I buy mainan yg memang tak rasa rugi sangat if rosak hancur berderai sekalipun. I don't know about other kids but I know my own kid tak selalu dapat apa yg dia nak. We agreed to let him appreciate apa yg dia dapat sebab bukan senang nak dapat. Tapi, being a 2 years old..boleh ke you harapkan appreciation comes by taking a good care of the toys? Bukan in Adam's case I think.

Sakit kepala masih berterusan. Tidur, bangun, tidur, it is still there..looming inside my head.as big as a lamp post.hahahaha.memang sangat sakit.

On the other note, kami berjaya mendapat rumah sewa di Setia Alam. Setelah membuat house viewing, we decided to take the offer. Terus bayar deposit to the owner. Will move in early next month. Tak ramai lagi neighbours nampaknya sebab area baru, rumah pun brand new. Tapi convenient la to my office. Tried to get the officer quarter tapi penuh and yg ada pun under pembaikan sampai next year. The house area tu sunyi tapi guarded with built in alarm. I memang prefer rumah yg tak sesak dan sibuk...walaupun jauh sket tak pelah. Yang penting ada few playschools for Adam. Since next week plan nk balik Taiping, we'll make appointment for playschools viewing la pula another week. Penting tu...have to look at the curriculum, the teachers, the school compound and also foods provided. So far from the survey done through googling in SARA forum, the best still is the Taska Fantasia. Ok la kut I guess sampai ada waiting list sampai 2010. Will update on that soon. But now, I have reading on Piaget and Erickson to be deal with...bismillah.

"Life is about making choices"

Hari ni dek sakit kepala yg amat, bagi kerja je kat students and start la pertapaan I kat pejabat yg sengaja digelapkan. Since ada lagi 'hutang' pada kawan-kawan untuk written assignment, gigihkan diri juga la browse untuk cari balik info yg ntah mana diletak. Sambil-sambil blog hopping nak hilangkan gelisah dihati.

Yesterday we had a huge disagreement in our 4 years 7 month old marriage. Well, not disagreement la juga since hubby agreed with everything I said and admitted his mistakes. But I had my says and I had made choices, in which tak semua la yg hubby agreed. I know and realize that to make a marriage works, both parties have to contribute and to make it a smooth sailing journey, only one could be the captain with the other as the first mate.

I am not going to lament about the problems, disagreement, rows and all here. A normal marriage may have to go through the phases...which most of marriage couples will experience.

But when I had sacrifices a lot for this marriage and had to forgo lots of things which were important to me, I would expect a better understanding from my spouse. Yelah, 'to err is human' and nobody is perfect in this bloody world but better understanding is not that damn hard kan? What's more to say if you have to choose your priorities? Stick to where you should la kan? I don't want to be a nusyuz wife or even derhaka to suami but he, as a person, who value myself and my opinion shouldn't do what had been done. It doesn't hurt to think twice or thrice....rather than hurting your spouse's feelings kan?

I don't need condemnation from you all, and I don't think I need any comments as I deserve to feel, to act and to decide for my own self.