I've been thinking a lot..and no wonder my brain feels so tired though it is only Monday..and my whole body is aching with flu, fever and cough...terrible. Of late, I feel so down and sad..up until I feel so empty inside. My best friend is too far away for a good comfort hug and my little best friend is away too. The misery of those few days...and it got me thinking of why..and why?

I lost our baby last February..which was heart wrenching and emotionally draining..and then I was ordered to attend the course..and at the same time, hubby went to Congo under UN Mission. I always believe that everything happen for a reason..and Insyaallah for my own good. And now I see...the reason behind all those tears, heart break, emotionally disturbed experiences and whatnot. If I'm still pregnant, I'm going to be delivering by August and of course..hubby will not be around..in which, knowing my previous experience with Adam...I will wish hubby is around. And then I will not attend this course...in which, actually prepare me to adjust to life with hubby far away slowly. The way Allah plan it for me is so beautiful..I do feel sad for crying...because I have no reason to cry. I feel grateful for that...only I do pray that Hubby, Adam and I are always under Allah swt protection from any harm.