Sometimes I think real hard to find certain answer but many times I will stumble upon a dead end..and sometimes I try to find a good explanation or excuses to give to people who seem to find my situation peculiar. I had long ago decided that I cannot satisfy everybody's requirement but I could, at least satisfy mine...and no matter what people say or talk about me...matter that much to me anymore than it were years ago...what make me nagging this evening? well, again..susah hati. I am at my worst whenever people ask me (people whom I am not familiar with) of when are we going to add more members to the small family and why not soon? Ya Allah...I don't know if you always stumble with people yg tak mau anak? Siapa yg tak mau anak?

Saya susah hati bila orang mula kesiankan saya...saya rasa tak boleh handle a pitiful look on peoples' face. For me, in my condition, I don't need pity (bukan saya ni arrogant or sombong tapi adakah kasihankan saya itu boleh membantu saya?) from orang luar yg tak kenal siapa saya..

Dulu, masa tahun pertama saya berkahwin dan masuk tahun ke dua perkahwinan..orang mula bising-bising bila kami masih berdua...sedangkan parents, parents in law, saudara mara pun tak pernah bertanya...and it goes to the same circle now. If saya dan hubby boleh terima keadaan saya sekarang without regret, kenapa orang luar perlu terlebih prihatin? Tak cukupkah penjelasan tentang rezeki dan takdir yg Allah tentukan? Lainlah jika saya sendiri yg bercerita..

Insyaallah semangat saya kuat, begitu juga penerimaan hubby. Saya tak perlukan kasihan yg berlebihan sebab saya tak rasa saya ada kekurangan dimana-mana pun. I really hope orang luar yg tak kenal saya will stop saying 'Kesiannya..'