Seminar Wanita Tentera Darat 2008

Yesterday I was at KL attending a seminar which officiated by Ybgh Panglima Tentera Darat. The seminar was for the women in the Armed Forces.Usually this type of seminar will take 3 to 4 days but this time around the JKHEWTD agreed to make it to 1 day affair which for us who have to travel all the way from PD was quite tiresome.But being a personnel, none of us even quipped a complaint...alah bisa tegal biasa (thanks to my BM sifu as I'm progressing quite well in this).

As the assistant to the Master of Ceremony, I was involved with the preparation and the script. As I have to left the Auditorium earlier, I miss out a very interesting talk given by INTAN's representative.

Banyak isu-isu menarik yang dibincangkan antaranya ialah kesesuaian wanita dalam perkhidmatan Angkatan Tentera. Dlm Tentera sebenarnya, komposisi wanita adalah 9.1% bagi Pegawai dan 8.5% untuk Lain-lain Pangkat berbanding komposisi lelaki. Bila menjadi minoriti dalam bidang yang majoritinya adalah lelaki, banyak isu yang timbul dan perlu ditangani. Juga kesesuaian wanita untuk diserapkan dalam Kor-kor Infantri (Kor Tempur) dan ditempatkan di bahagian Operasi dalam misi PBB.

Berdasarkan kajian yang dibuat, fungsi wanita di bahagian operasi bagi Kor Infantri adalah terhad dan 'pilot project' penempatan anggota di 9 Bgd Para adalah kurang berjaya. Seperti yang ditekankan oleh Ybgh PTD, limitasi ini adalah kerana punca-punca tertentu seperti kekurangan infrastruktur untuk penempatan wanita. Jadi sifat kewanitaan itu bukanlah limitasi yang utama walaupun tetap menjadi satu isu.

Being in the field, bekerja bersama kaum lelaki memerlukan kebijaksanaan untuk menilai dan kematangan untuk bertindak. Jika tersalah menilai dan bertindak, macam-macam masalah yang berlaku seperti yang sedia ada pada hari ni. Apa yang penting bagi saya sebagai anggota tentera ialah kita practice disiplin yang diterapkan semasa mula-mula kita join the service.Semangat kekitaan atau espirit de corps adalah sangat penting untuk jatidiri sebagai anggota tentera. Yang paling penting ialah kita sentiasa tanya diri sendiri apa sumbangan kita pada Negara..bukan persoalkan apa Negara telah beri pada kita. Saya percaya, jika kita telus dalam following the rules and regulations, Malaysia akan sentiasa terpelihara dan wanita akan menjadi simbol penting dalam perkhidmatan ini.

When my heart cries..

It's a rare occasion for me to cry openly unless I'm so angry..I would cry because of frustration.

I would cry silently in my heart if I'm sad or if I'm hurting. Hubby would say that I'm a strong person if compare to him but the truth is I am a sensitive person who could cry easily.

But I just don't like to cry openly because I'm uncomfortable with attention. Seriously..I would slip quietly into the ladies and cry rather than dramatizing it by crying infront of peoples especially strangers.

When my late grandmom passed away...I was the only one who didn't cry.The fact that she was very close to me and I was her favorite grandaughter (being the first one)...make everyone wonder. It were true enough I didn't cry but the wound cut me deeper and until now I'm mourning her death.

I'm not an egoist who despise crying because the association of weaknesses. I'm a simple, sensitive person who would cry if I'm being hurt....and I would say..to be hurt by someone who is related to you is unbearable...and I'm so hurt..

I'm bowled over it...

After 3 years of not playing it, I was of course the lousiest player during the tourney. This statement is referring to the bowling game we had yesterday. The tourney taklah Grand Tournament peringkat National ataupun International. Tak masuk dalam Buletin Utama pun citer ni. Setakat Buletin AFAT jelah kut..itupun if ada yang rajin nak buat.Tujuan utamanya ialah untuk mengeratkan hubungan kekeluargaan sesama Pegawai tapi disebaliknya ialah untuk preparation Bowling Tourney peringkat AFATS la. Kiranya sebagai selection untuk mencari bowler yang paling mantap membuat spin ball atau sekurang-kurangnya 'sungkit' ball la lebih kurang. Sememangnya ramai bowler yang berbakat among the Officers..and ramai juga yang berbakat membuat hatrik 'longkang ball' seperti empunya blog ni la. But the most important is we had fun yesterday and I vowed I'll beat the rest in the next tourney...hehehe.Cam buat comeback la ni kan..

Yang tak bestnya cuma bila balik rumah je, terasa bekas C-Sect aku ni berdenyut-denyut je..alahai..and hubby mula la dgn sesi ceramah kesihatan percuma..hmm..

Ish..camne le nak score if lane hancus nih?

Tactical discussion..so intense nak susun strategy.

Gaya Ratu Bowling AFATS..tu pose yang penuh skill tu.

Kalah bowling takpe..kita menang pose kan Tasya..

Nilah group yang menang 1st place...tapi yang sebelah kanan sekali tu rasa salah group nie...hehehe..

Apabila hati berkata-kata

Selalunya aku akan jadi macamni le bila tibanya bulan Disember. Kenapa? Uih..sangatlah panjang ceritanya dan sangatlah besar kesannya kepada my life and also affected my closest peoples in my life. Although 'penyebab' kepada perasaan ni dah tak ada maknanya dlm hidup aku...still..first love is the hardest to forget kan?Don't get me wrong..I'm so much in love with my hubby now and I do hope until forever.

Bulan ni bulan birthday mamat yang hampir-hampir la buat aku 'sasau' dan hilang arah. I think I'm not the only one yang jadi dan rasa macamtu tapi at least aku taklah throw accusation all over his face. And I didn't spit harsh and condeming words to him. Apa yang aku buat sampai mamat tu maki hamun aku?Aku tinggalkan dia..

For people yang tak kenal aku maybe cakap apa yang aku buat tu perkara biasa...tapi bagi orang yg really know me..apa yang aku buat bukanlah mudah dan aku yang lebih banyak simpan 'sakit'. Aku tak throw accusation or &^&%$## words to him...aku simpan semua 'sakit' tu dalam hati. For me..biarlah dia luahkan perasaan dia..if itu cara dia nak lupakan aku..biarlah dia.

In every way..aku yang lebih banyak derita..banyak perkara yang aku kena handle after the break...my marriage and my baby..also kepala aku yang rasa tak mampu nak terima hakikat cinta agung aku dah hancur musnah.

Of course...hubby aku ketika itu adalah lelaki yang paling memahami dan sangat pemaaf...I don't think any guy sanggup tunggu cinta seorang isteri dan masih memaafkan isterinya walaupun dia tahu his wife was in love with other person. Until I feel I don't deserve him..

Aku tinggalkan dia kerana banyak perkara. First of all because atas permintaan emaknya juga. Aku hormati emaknya because for me she is a good mother and a strong person. Bukanlah maknya tak sukakan aku tapi kerana a reason I shouldn't stated here..emaknya merayu agar aku fikirkan masa depan anaknya..dan kerana aku fikirkan masa depan mamat ni..aku dihina dan dimaki hamun seteruknya.If aku ditempat dia pun maybe aku pun akan 'terganggu' sebegitu so aku taklah blame him 100%. Biarlah dia...

So bila tibanya bulan ni..nak tak nak aku tetap 'terasa' sesuatu...he was a friend to me before our relation became serious jadinya aku terasa kehilangan seorang sahabat yang baik...

Namun, cinta dan sayang dalam hati yang berkata-kata ini tetap utuh dan kukuh untuk lelaki yang tak pernah menghina, mencerca, menyalahkan aku walaupun dia yang paling layak untuk buat begitu pada aku. My hubby is my everything now..

Nilah first time aku luahkan after years...

Aidil Adha 08

Last year's qurban was merrier since everyone managed to get a week leave unlike this year. But yang pentingnya ibadah qurban telah disempurnakan. This year tak sempat ambil gambar pun coz terlalu sibuk dengan preparation kenduri dan afterwards nak mengemas-ngemas rumah tokwan. If tinggal camtu je tak ke kejam anak cucu nih..sempat snap few pic of Adam and cousins jek..gambar kenduri dan gambar pagi raya memanglah takde. Raya Haji ni taklah bersungguh sangat since yang pentingnya qurban dan for those yg mengerjakan hajj tu memanglah terasa meriahnya. Since I kat In laws nye place..takleh lama le ngadap laptop nih.Layan jelah gambo-gambo yg ada iye..

Journey Home

Alhamdulillah, at 1645H we arrived safe and sound at my parents's house. After give and take 5 hours journey from Klang to Taiping...I'm so glad to be home. Usually the journey is just about 3-4 hours only but due to bad traffic and equally rude and bad drivers..we arrived after agonizing hours in the car. Lucky I was not the driver and it's lucky hubby is very cool and penyabar tahap petala 8 (hehehe) with Malaysians drivers who presumbly crazy and stupid. Of course bukan semua la but yang sikit ni la yang selalu menimbulkan problem.

And I wonder about all those big, branded expensive car outside there...memang di manufactured WITHOUT signal light ke? Rugi kan...kereta mahal,besar dan cantik tapi tak diletak signal light...baik la pakai Kancil or VIVA yang kecil TAPI dilengkapi dengan signal lights. I cakap ni coz sepanjang journey home tadi..ada la sebuah kereta 'besar' ni and rasanya harga mau la cecah ratusan ribu RM..main cilok without giving any signal..I of course..dah keluar segala "*&^%()_*%$ dah..but hubby bleh lagi maintain cool dia...'Let him la Ayang..nanti kalau dia jatuh tepi gaung tuh kita stop tolong gelak je'

And that's why juga le bila ada yang accident kat tepi jalan, orang Malaysia lebih prefer tengok jek...sebabnya bila ada driver yang 'kureng'.

So..concocted in the warmth of my parents' home..I feel all trouble and worries fly away...I'm so happy to be back.

My Weekend

Firstly I would like to appologize to Suzie coz can't make it to her wedding. As a matter of fact we were at first confirmed of going coz dh beli pressie pun (heret my tired hubby to Seremban to shop..kejam tak?). But we could plan the glorious planning...when we received a phone call from MIL. Husband's relative passed away and we were expected to pay our last respect to him (Atuk Hussein was about 90+ years old) so I have to compromise with hubby since he compromised of going to Seremban though he is soooo tired. He promised we'll come back to PD after my friend's wedding on Sunday so that I could still give Suzie her pressie..nak buat camane tak dapat datang wedding awak ye suzie... But as it happened on Sunday tu aku le pulak demam again!! After HIsham's wedding, I went back to PIL's house and zonked out of earth...about 7 pm baru sedar.

Tu pun hubby asked whether balik nak singgah rumah suzie or not...since I'm not sure she's still at PD, I think of giving her the pressie later.

Adam pulanya at PIL's place coz my MIL kata biar I rehat..kat sana ramai cousin dia yg nak melayan. So today I'm alone at home but with loads of work to do since nak balik Kedah cuti Raya AidilAdha ni. Kena prepare my uniform and clean the house since balik nanti sure penat.

To Suzie..whenever you're reading this please give me a buzz since I have your pressie.Taklah mahal pun but the thought that count kan? So kena bagi jugak le kat tuan empunya nye.